On Saturday, we had more visitors. Before the birth, I had called to ask about the visiting policy, because this was in the middle of H1N1 hysteria, and was told that adults could visit during regular hours, and children could visit as long as they had proof of vaccination. Jim’s sister had planned on bringing her daughter, and my brother had planned on bringing my nephews. Then that annoying nurse from day one told us that only immediate family children were allowed, so that plan went out the window. Boo. Anyway, on Saturday, Jim’ sister visited, along with his parents, and two of my best friends. So the day passed quickly, with lots of people around to hold babies.

At some point, we had a visit from the lactation consultant, because Liam was still having trouble latching on. To make a long story short, he had a weak sucking reflex and we ended up supplementing with formula. I was a little disappointed, but had also been prepared for whatever outcome meant my babies were getting fed. It turned out to be kind of a blessing because, on the advice of a lactation consultant and our pediatrician, we ended up alternating food, with one baby nursing and one baby getting formula at each feeding. This meant that Jim could feed one baby while I fed the other, which ended up working out great once we got home. I think it helped Jim feel connected to the babies, and I know I would have been exhausted trying to be responsible for all of the feedings, or trying to pump enough for all of the feedings. I know there are moms out there who do it and my hat is off to them, but we did what worked for us.

Saturday night, I told Jim to go sleep at home. He had to check on the cats etc. and the guest bed in our hospital room was incredibly uncomfortable, plus I figured at least one of us should get a good night’s sleep. He stayed as late as he was allowed and then left. At that point, I was still tandem breastfeeding them (and my milk had not yet come in) so I could handle feedings myself.

Sunday, we had more visitors. My brother and sister-in-law came back, and Jim’s brother, and my friend Mary all visited. It really is all a blur. I just remember being really excited that they brought me all my meals and I wolfed them down. I was SO hungry! Jim brought me breakfast from McDonald’s and I ate it in about ten seconds flat. And then also ate the breakfast that the hospital provided.

The official hospital photographers came stopping by at the WORST times and we kept telling them to come back. Finally, I had Jim tell them to skip it. So that’s why we don’t have an official hospital picture. We took a lot of our own pictures, though.

Jim slept at home again on Sunday night and that’s when I got annoying nurse #2. She was super chatty, and I was EXHAUSTED. She brought the babies in to eat every two hours, and by that point I was feeding them one at a time instead of tandem, so each feeding took an hour. By the time she retrieved the babies and I got settled back into bed, I got about 45 mins sleep before she returned. And every time, she wanted to have a conversation and I was just grunting at her. Plus, she kept getting the babies’ names wrong. I’m not saying she needed to memorize them, but just call them Baby or something, like how all the nurses just called me Mom. I didn’t bother correcting her because who cares? But then on one visit, she realized her mistake and spent like ten minutes apologizing and telling me some stupid story and GAH! I started texting Jim at like 6 AM “Please hurry back this nurse is KILLING ME!”

So he came back on Monday morning and then after another visit from our pediatrician and the lactation consultant, and then waiting around forever, we were finally discharged. I could have stayed in the hospital another week. I did not feel prepared to go home. But they said we were ready, so we went. I remember sitting in the wheelchair holding both babies, and the orderly wheeled me onto the elevator. When the doors opened at the lobby, all of the people waiting for the elevator were like, “TWINS!!!!!!!!” I felt like a celebrity. Little did I know, that happens ALL THE TIME. Anyway, Jim pulled the car up and brought in the car seats and we had to try to get these tiny bodies into these contraptions with like twenty buckles and I was sweating because I thought everyone was staring at us, but finally we did it, and we got in the car, and our new family drove home.

It was a cold, clear day when we got up early Friday morning to head to the hospital for the C-section. We were both nervous, but after our false alarm the week before, I felt more ready and prepared, like I had gone through all the freaking out then and gotten it out of my system.

We got to the hospital and checked in, and they put us in the pre-op room where I was immediately put in a hospital gown and hooked up to some monitors. Everything looked good but what I remember most was that I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight and I was SO THIRSTY. Plus it was super hot in that tiny room, and I was just dying of heat. And I was HUGE. Before too long, my dad and his girlfriend arrived at the hospital and came in to say him; Jim’s parents arrived too so it was like a little party in the pre-op room. After a while, it was just hot and crowded so it was kind of a relief when the grandparents-to-be were shuttled off to the waiting room. My OB came in to say hello and go over what was going to happen, and we also met the anesthesiologist. It felt like we had to answer the same questions about a million times, but I guess better safe than sorry.

Finally, it was time! They wheeled me into the operating room which looked a lot like the procedure rooms from my fertility doctor’s office, but bigger and with more people. Jim was busy doing something — who knows what — while they gave me the epidural. I had to sit on the edge of the table and bend forward so they could get a clear shot at my back. They numbed it first, and I remember a little bit of pain, but not bad. I didn’t like that they didn’t tell me when it was coming, though — I like a lot of information during medical procedures and they didn’t tell me much. As soon as it was done, they helped me lie back down on the table, and before I was even fully in position, my legs started getting numb. It was a really creepy feeling, sort of like novocaine at the dentist, but in your legs. And then your stomach. And then your chest. I get claustrophobic and it freaked me out a little when it started to affect my breathing, like what if they screwed it up and my lungs are paralyzed? But I kept doing my yoga breathing (8 counts in, hold 2, 8 counts out) and the nurse assured me I was doing fine. Jim came in at some point while they were putting up the drapes that kept me from seeing what was going on down below (thank God), and sat on a stool by my head.

Before I really even knew it was happening, my OB made the first cut. I really couldn’t feel much of anything; some people told me that you can feel pulling and tugging but I didn’t even feel much of that. I kept asking, “Is the baby out yet? Is he out yet? What’s going on?” No one was telling me anything but then someone told Jim to stand up and see the baby and I heard a cry and I started crying. Apparently Baby A was out and he was kicking his brother as they pulled him out. A bunch of nurses pounced on him and took him over to the warming table. They had warned me that would happen and it didn’t mean anything was wrong. Within a minute or two, Baby B was out as well, and apparently he peed on the doctor while he was coming out, and everyone had a good laugh over that. I didn’t know about it at the time because, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but no one was telling me anything.

Once both babies were out (and people had warned me about this), I became an afterthought, since all the energy in the room was directed towards the babies. Jim got to go over and see the babies being cleaned up, and even cut the cord. Sort of. The cord was already cut (obviously, since the babies were across the room at this point) but he got to do a ceremonial cord-cutting. One of his co-workers had warned him that you really need to bear down, and I guess he did a good job.

The scale was near me, and they brought the babies over to be weighed. I was craning my neck, trying to see the babies for the first time, so much so that the anesthesiologist thought something might be wrong with me. I explained that I was just trying to see my sons! Baby A weighed in at 6 lbs 5 oz and Baby B was 6 lbs 3 oz. Jim told me later that one of the nurses was obsessed with the ideas that the babies wanted to see each other and kept thrusting one into the other’s bin going, “There’s your brother! There’s your brother!” She needed to calm down, I think.

While my OB was doing the procedure, he kept up a running lesson on the history of the C-section, including a long digression on how many women die in childbirth. What? Why was he talking about that? Bad timing! The anasthesiologist and I were rolling our eyes at each other.

While they sewed me up, Jim got to go with the babies to the post-op recovery room. It actually didn’t take that long for me to get cleaned up although I still couldn’t feel anything below the waist and I had the chills and my teeth were chattering. I had also been warned about that ahead of time, so I wasn’t worried. Finally, they wheeled me out of the operating room and into the recovery room (next door). I got to stop along the way and ring a bell that sounds chimes around the hospital letting everyone know a baby has arrived. I actually got to ring it twice. I wish they had told us about that ahead of time so the grandparents could have listened for it!

We got into the recovery room and I finally got to see my boys. I wasn’t allowed to hold them yet because I was still shaking from the anesthesia. This whole time period is kind of a blur. While they were cleaning me up, Jim had been sitting in a chair in the recovery room holding both babies and he couldn’t even move because there was nowhere to set a baby down! When they brought me in, I think they also brought the little plastic bin where you put the babies (they were both in one, all swaddled up with little hats on). Luckily, some smart nurse took a piece of tape, wrote A and B on them, and stuck it to their hats. Finally, Jim had his hands free and was able to call the grandparents and tell them both babies were fine. Apparently, this was a really long wait as I heard that Jim’s mom got really anxious and was pacing around, sure that something bad had happened. Sorry about that!

The charge nurse in the recovery room was, to put it bluntly, a real hardass. I mean that in the most loving way. She was no-nonsense. Periodically, nurses would have to come in and check me to make sure I wasn’t bleeding out and they had to massage my stomach to get my uterus back to normal size. That was not fun. Finally, I was allowed to hold the babies and Jim and I had to decide on names. We actually had the names picked out, but weren’t sure which baby was going to get which name. I wanted to look at them first. At birth, Baby A looked like Jim a bit, and Baby B looked like me and my dad. So we went with Liam Joseph for Baby A. Liam is a shortened version of William, my maternal grandfather’s name, and Joseph is Jim’s dad’s name. And for Baby B, we chose Emmett Jude. Emmett was Jim’s great-uncle, and I just loved the name, and Jude was for my mom, Judith.

Eventually, the grandparents got to come visit. My dad and Pam came first. Jim had to leave so that they could come in. They held the babies and took pictures. Then, just as Jim’s parents were going to come in, I had to get checked out again, so they had to wait in the hall. Finally I waved them in and for some reason, Jim’s mom wouldn’t hold the babies! I think she was too nervous. But they got to see them, and hear the names.

The charge nurse came in at one point and asked if I planned to breastfeed, and I said I’d like to try. So she threw both of the babies in my lap and grabbed my boobs and just started milking me. There is no polite way to say it. That’s what she did. But it’s just what I needed someone to do, because I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I think Jim was a little shocked! Anyway, Emmett latched on right away but Liam had a little more trouble. My milk hadn’t come in yet so it was all sort of academic at that point anyway.

Finally, after about an hour maybe, or maybe two, it was time to go to our room. They have this security system where they have to call security and say they are moving the babies and then if the babies don’t get checked into the destination within like fifteen minutes (and it’s one floor down, so that’s a tight fit), they sound the alarm and lock down the ward or something. So the charge nurse was bitching because they needed help to wheel me down and her assistant was off doing God knows what. Then they shoved the babies in my arms and seriously ran to the elevator to make it to our room in time. And we did!

That first night is just a blur. I do remember that the grandparents stayed to visit. I think Jim’s brother showed up at one point. My brother and sister-in-law came, but the babies had just been taken to the nursery for…something. So I told them to wait so they could see the babies — it was a two-hour drive for them and I didn’t want them to just turn around and go home. My nurse for that shift was…annoying. And she started bitching at me about how I had too many visitors and they needed to leave. Meanwhile, the babies weren’t even in the room and I wasn’t allowed to get out of bed and I was still running on adrenaline, so I was happy for the company and the distraction. Finally, they brought the babies back and the nurse was still trying to get everyone to leave and I just snapped at her, “My sister-in-law is not leaving until she gets to hold a baby!” God, she was annoying. So babies were held for like two minutes and then everyone left.

And then the nurses left and Jim and I were left alone with two babies. At one point, a nurse came in and asked if we’d fed them or changed them or something, and we were like, “That’s our job?” I kind of thought there would be more of a transition from the nurses doing that to us doing that, or they would give us a lesson or something. But I guess they just throw you in the deep end and you have to sink or swim.

The other thing I remember about that night was that same annoying nurse was the one who had to get me out of bed for the first time, to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up. That SUCKED! It hurt so bad. They had told me the interval between when I could have pain meds (3 or 4 hours, don’t remember now) and when it started to get close, I buzzed the nurse and asked for them. No one came. So Jim went out to the desk and asked, and no one came. Finally, they came, like half an hour late. And I felt every second of those thirty minutes. That nurse also made me go for a walk and push the little cart holding the baby. I get why you have to do that — the faster you get up and walking, the faster your recovery — but that cart was heavy! And difficult to get around corners! She could have been a little more sympathetic, is all I’m saying.

But I did get to spend some quiet time just staring at my babies. Their little sweet faces. We started the journey almost exactly four years earlier, and now here they were. It was a cold, clear night and from time to time, snow fell softly outside. And I laid in that hospital bed and held my babies.

We got to the hospital and the midwife had called ahead to let them know I was coming. They found me a room for triage purposes; it was tiny. The nurse was awesome. She probably has a lot of experience dealing with terrified about-to-be parents and was great at distracting us but also giving us information as needed. She hooked me up to some monitors to check the babies’ heartbeats. It was basically the same thing they do for my non-stress tests at the dr’s office, except this was all digital instead of on a strip of paper. Everything looked good with the babies, and my blood pressure was within normal range, so then we just hung out for a while. A med student came in and took my history; I think he was more nervous than I was!

Finally a resident came in to take a sample of the fluid to see if it was amniotic fluid or not. That was really uncomfortable and it didn’t help that I had started having contractions and couldn’t move around much on the bed due to all the monitors. The first test, a simple pH, was negative, so she took it off to look at under a microscope. Apparently, amniotic fluid will have a ferning pattern. Guess what? Mine didn’t. The last test was to do a sonogram to make sure the babies still had enough fluid, and they both did. So false alarm! I guess it was urine after all. I was really embarrassed about the whole thing — how do you not know when you peed? But everyone has assured me it’s really common. She also checked and I was still only about 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so they discharged me and we went home.

I guess it was good practice and now we know what to do when the real thing happens, although if I make it to Friday, we won’t have to go through the whole triage process again. I was exhausted for the rest of the day Saturday and slept twelve hours that night! Sunday, I felt much better and we went out to lunch as our last hurrah as non-parents. We got home and finished putting the decals on the walls in the nursery, and cleaned up a little bit upstairs. I took some photos and video of the nursery now that it’s done. Enjoy!

Photos

Video

Details:
Baby B is still breech (which is why we set a c-section date — there isn’t really enough room in there for him to flip at this point). Baby A is still head down, and the midwife said I’m at least partially effaced (she didn’t give a percentage) and 2 cm dilated already! I haven’t had any contractions but it’s possible I could go into labor on my own before the scheduled date.

They’ve been doing some growing — Baby A is now 6 lbs 2 oz and Baby B is 5 lbs 9 oz (so that’s 11 lbs 11 oz of baby I’m hauling around! No wonder I’m so tired!). Everything else looked “textbook perfect” according to the midwife and I’m still feeling pretty good, but I get tired more often.

We’ve very excited to meet these guys! Won’t be long now!

Baby B, that rascal, has flipped AGAIN and is now back to head up (breech) but Baby A is still head down. I have another appointment with the dr on Monday to discuss labor/delivery options but I kind of already know what he’s going to say — as long as A is head down, I can try for a vaginal delivery because many times once Baby A is out, Baby B will flip on his own and head out (pun intended). But it does run the risk that I would have the 1st baby vaginal delivery and then the 2nd one C-section which is kind of the worst of both worlds. Or I could just go right to a C-section and avoid that possibility. I’m not that concerned since Baby B has been in a different position at almost every appointment so maybe he will move yet again!

I asked how the dr decides when they would either induce or schedule a C-section since all along they have been telling me that they usually don’t let twin moms go past 38 weeks. They said they’ll let me go as long as there’s no distress for me or the babies. For me, the signs would be things like sudden swelling, high blood pressure, headaches, blurred vision, etc. which are all signs of preeclampsia. For the babies, the big thing is heart rate (which is why they monitor it every week) and growth. If B, who has always been smaller, starts lagging even further behind, they would probably induce or schedule a C-section. The good news is that if any of those things happen now, I’m far enough along that the prognosis for the babies would be really good with minimal NICU time.

Still haven’t had any real contractions but have had a few Braxton Hicks here and there (the “practice” contractions). The nursery is pretty much done, all the clothes are washed and put away, the changing table is stocked, etc. Jim is getting my remote car starter installed on Monday and then we’ll install the car seats (and take them to the police station to be checked) and that’s really the last thing, I think! I’m going to try to send out pictures of the nursery later this week.

A and B are doing great. B moved AGAIN at my last appointment — he was still head down but on TOP of A (like B was up against my belly and A was behind him, against my back). That was weird. I think he’s gone back to his side but I’ll find out on Wednesday. I got hooked up to all the monitors last week again and they said everything looked great. Heart rates were normal, no contractions, and lots of movement. I was measuring 38 weeks then and I think I’m even bigger now! Hard to roll over in bed and I get “saddle sore” — like when you ride a bike for too long! And short of breath. But other than that, not too bad.

My belly really grew since last week, which confirmed what I’ve been feeling. Last week I was measuring at 34-35 weeks (that’s just the size of my belly, not necessarily an indication of when I’ll have the babies) and this week I’m 37 weeks. It just means my belly is the same size as the average woman with one baby at 37 weeks gestation.

So on to the sonogram. Both babies have returned to head down position. Baby A is around 3 lbs 10 oz and Baby B is around 3 lbs 3 oz, so they’re both growing appropriately.

I’m starting to feel pretty huge and tired and I get sore on days that I have to be on my feet for a while but the good news is I only have one day of classes left on Monday and then I’m done!

The midwife could tell that Baby A is still head down but Baby B has scooted so he is side-to-side. I have no idea how there is room for that! Not a big deal — as long as A is still head down, I may be able to avoid a C-section. Both heartbeats were good, and I’m measuring about 34-35 weeks (full term is 40 weeks) and feeling pretty huge.

We’ve made a lot of progress on getting the house ready — the nursery is painted, the new carpet is installed, we bought a dresser for baby clothes and assembled it, and Jim got a new TV for upstairs. Not sure how he convinced me that was necessary, but there you go. Next step is assembling cribs etc. and organizing the room! I’m done with work as of Dec. 16th and still feeling pretty good although a little more uncomfortable at times. Some days are better than others, and I’m just taking it one day at a time.

Let’s see, I had an appointment at 24 weeks, including another ultrasound. The sonographer was still kind of grouchy; he printed out pictures for me but they were totally blurry and didn’t even look like anything to an experienced sonogram reader like myself. But Baby A was in the 50th percentile for size and Baby B was in the 41st. That disparity is normal, and it’s a good sign that both babies are about average in terms of size. If they were bigger than average, I might have a problem carrying to term! I think the dr just wants to make sure they keep growing at an average rate.

The good news at that appointment was that Baby A has flipped and is now head down! As long as Baby A is head down (vertex), then I can attempt a vaginal delivery (unless there are other complications).

Since then, Jim and I attended our childbirth education class. Instead of doing the one through the hospital (which lasts 5 weeks! Do I get college credit for that?), we decided to do one that my dr recommends that only lasts two weeks. And then on the first night, the instructor offered to do it all in one night, which I was all for. I’m a reader, and a planner, so I had already read a lot about childbirth and labor, and just wanted a reality check from someone who has been there. Also, she gave us a lot of ideas about how the husband can be helpful during labor, which I appreciated. I want Jim to feel like he’s a part of things and not just a bystander. And who knows? I might still end up having a C-section, but at least I feel more prepared for whatever outcome now. The one thing she didn’t go over was really specific techniques to deal with contractions, but I think that’s probably really individual. She mentioned changing positions, deep breathing, going to the bathroom a lot, eating and drinking during labor, etc. We also talked about various pain relief, including epidurals. Anyway, at my next dr’s appointment, I’m supposed to talk to my dr. about birthing options, so we’ll see what he says specifically about my situation.

And then yesterday, I had to do my three-hour glucose tolerance test. It was a comedy of errors where first I couldn’t find the lab, and then I found it (30 minutes late) but they don’t take my insurance, so they sent me to a different lab. So by the time I got started, I’d been fasting for 12 hours. I’ve done this test before, so I was prepared for the part where you feel crappy by the end, but this time I didn’t feel AS crappy as I did last time. I’m hoping that means I passed! I don’t really want to have to test my blood sugars all the time, but I’ll do it if that’s what it takes. I suppose I’ll find out the results at my appointment Monday.

I’ve been calling just about every day to see if my dr’s office has the H1N1 vaccine, and they didn’t. Until today. I asked if I should come in today or wait until my appointment on Monday. They said to wait; if I get there Monday and they are out, I am going to be PISSED!!!!!

So he started by verifying the babies’ positions, and it turns out they have moved and are now both in full breech position, meaning their heads are pointing up towards my head and their legs are down, and they’re sitting side by side.

Then he moved on to Baby A, which is the one on my right side. Normally, they designate Baby A as the one closest to the exit, but since they’re pretty equal, he decided to call the right one Baby A. He measured the skull circumference, then looked at a cross section of the torso. Then he found the heart, counted the chambers, and took a heart rate (which was 140). He somehow estimated the weight as 11 oz. and measured the femur length. He found the stomach and bladder and made sure both had contents. That means that the baby can swallow and his kidneys are working. Finally, he got to the money shot and I could tell it was a boy before he even said it. It was pretty obvious!

After that, he took some profile pictures of each baby for us (which are at the top of this entry) and then did all the same measurements on Baby B. I really thought Baby B was a girl given my untrained sonogram-reading eye, but nope! The sonographer pointed out the penis and everything, so it’s definitely a boy. Baby B weighed 10 oz. and his heart rate was 153.

Video of the ultrasound

After he released us, we had to go back to the lobby and wait for the second part of our appointment, so I texted my friends. I was really mean about it and texted, “The dr is 95% sure that it’s a…” and then stopped. I immediately got like 10 texts back saying, “A what?” and “You suck!” and “Come on!” So then I sent a second text that said, “Baby A is a boy and Baby B is…”

Unfortunately, then we got called in for the second half of our appointment. I really didn’t mean to make people wait for the last part! They took my blood pressure and weighed me. I’ve gained 10 lbs since I started going there, and about 12 lbs overall. They don’t seem too worried, so I’m not going to worry either. I got a flu shot, and we got to listen to both babies’ heartbeats. Jim had never been there for that part of an appointment, so that was his first time. It’s really cool.

The midwife talked to me about the fact that they are breech. She said they have about another four weeks to flip over so at least one of them is head down for me to avoid a C-section. I would love to have a vaginal delivery since again, this is probably my only chance to experience that, but I also recognize that the babies will do what they’ll do and I don’t have a ton of control over it. Doing some searching online revealed that some babies have flipped later than that, but I’m sure it depends on the size of the mother’s torso, the size of the babies, etc. I have pretty big babies — they’ve been measuring right on or ahead of their gestational age all along — and I’m pretty short-waisted, so I’m sure that contributes.

Outside of appointment news, we ordered the replacement windows for the upstairs, so that’s in progress. I can’t believe it’s only a month to my shower! I’ve got to get cracking on painting too. And cleaning! I can’t leave it too long or I’ll be too non-ambulatory to do anything.

I still feel really good. Sometimes if I overdo it physically, like walk too much, I notice my stomach muscles get sore, but my back and hips are holding out so far. And I’m pretty sure I look pregnant now and not just fat!

Next appointment is in 4 weeks, and I get another sonogram. After that, I have my gestational diabetes test, which I am kind of dreading, and then I have to start going to the dr. every week. I’ll try to update again in two weeks, maybe with some nursery pictures. That will give me motivation to get to work, hopefully.